Worst excuses for non-payment of an invoice

[bez]

What's the worst excuse you've had for non-payment of an invoice? Today I got a new number one:

"The person that signs off the weekly invoices is on holiday"

Aside from the fact that I'm meant to believe that only one person in the whole office can approve invoice payments (this isn't exactly a small company), did they not think it would be a good idea to have maybe signed them off in advance??

I'm going to try and enjoy my weekend before more hell breaks loose on Monday.

[FoxTopper]

I had something similar happen to me, though it was far more frustrating.

I was working with a client who owned a small company and I went to her office because I couldn't get a hold of her on the phone. Payment was delayed and I was getting frustrated, though I was trying my best to keep the peace and be 'nice.'

Anyway, when I arrived at her office, her employees managed to contact her on the phone and she said she would be arriving in the office shortly. I was there for maybe around 3 hours, when she called up her employees and told them to tell me to just come back the next day, with the worst explanation ever - none! I got the phone from her employee, before she could put down the phone and tried to keep composure while my tone and words obviously swirled with irritation. She apologized, but kept on saying to just come back the next day.

She kept this up for two more days until she finally paid up.

[The SMG]

SMG: "Why haven't I been paid today (Friday)?"

Agency Payroll: "You didn't send us your timesheet before our cut off at 12pm on Monday"

SMG: "Yes I did, I have an email confirmation of the FAX I sent at 11.15am on Monday morning????!"

Agency Payroll: "Well, according to our records, your timesheet arrived at 12.15pm on Monday"

SMG: "It's 10am (on Friday) now, what time does you FAX machine say it is?"

Agency Payroll: "11am"

SMG: "Grrrrrrrrr"